The Latest

Sep 14, 2014 / 63 notes

Saturday nights are for sitting in your car on the verge of tears again, binge smoking another worn pack of cheap cigarettes while taking in The Smiths and wondering how it all went to hell

Sunday nights are for walking into a strict coded building in clothes that hide your scars and faults, pretending for once, that everything you fear and choke about will resolve itself one day

Monday nights are for pinning your eyes open, straining your pupils like a mental patient at a screening, pouring yourself over a book that will never make you feel better, over a grade that will not define you, over a class that you will never use to make yourself better, over a mundane routine that reeks of stale cycles and unkept promises seasoned with procrastination and agony

Tuesday nights are for relenting into captivity at a work place that will never appreciate you, that placed a dollar sign on your head and a whip on your back and a command in your ear just so you can aim to make your fragile little ends meet in a half hearted attempt to feel moderately successful and content with what you can afford before returning to this building of charts and currency and rules

Wednesday nights are for slouching in a classroom chair, overwhelmed by the droning and barking of a practiced teacher, who also has to make ends meet, who suffers just like you, who is here with the same emotion and worry and pain as you; a reflection of a future you shudder to imagine, but slowly creep towards nonetheless

Thursday nights are for dodging a table side object thrown by a parent, venom dripping from their teeth as they repeat the words again that sink into your flesh, that remind you of how a bastard you really are, that drove you to depression and a therapy session because God knows daddy wouldn’t drive you there, because a steering wheel can’t be grasped with the hand he holds the bottle with, the same bottle you drink late at night in tears, praying to God-knows-what that one day you can invent the glue to piece back a family that was molded only to break itself apart day after day after day after day after wretched day

Friday nights are for revisiting the books you put off studying since Monday, glancing at your social medias, watching the people you knew and loved and hated and forgot and cherished and ignored; you watched their friends and lives and moments in pictures as you absorbed words off of an expensive but worthless page to try and regurgitate on an even more worthless page the next week, pulling out your hair and kicking your furniture and silencing yourself before a parent confronted you yet again for your wild behavior, you remind yourself that you will die if you do not obey the teacher’s command and over come the grading system that wrote red on your wrists when you could not reach the summit of academic expectation, running to the bathroom to vomit and take another pill that you treasure and calm yourself before hallucinating from narcotics and from the lack of both sleep & hope, imaging how simple the end of your life could be in the next few seconds if you only took the initiative to end it yourself, you scream and smother the bathroom floor with warm tears and pounding fists before returning to your book with the words “maybe one day it will change”

Saturday nights are for sitting in your car on the verge of tears, binge smoking another worn pack of cheap cigarettes while taking in The Smiths and wondering how it all went to hell

Sep 14, 2014 / 60 notes
endlichunendlicheinfachx:

Cigarettes are plan b unter We Heart It.
Sep 14, 2014 / 109 notes

endlichunendlicheinfachx:

Cigarettes are plan b unter We Heart It.

delicate-recovery:

My creative writing teacher said “Sweet, sweet cigarettes.” and all I thought was “Sweet, sweet self-mutilation.” // k.c.k.
Sep 14, 2014 / 136 notes

delicate-recovery:

My creative writing teacher said “Sweet, sweet cigarettes.” and all I thought was “Sweet, sweet self-mutilation.” // k.c.k.

streamy-dream:

Untitled on We Heart It.
Sep 14, 2014 / 165 notes

streamy-dream:

Untitled on We Heart It.

Sep 14, 2014 / 155 notes

(via courtesylove)

Sep 14, 2014 / 226 notes
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